It wasn’t until just recently when listening to a podcast that I heard that back in 2017 Allure Magazine made the decision to no longer use the word “anti-aging” in any of their articles and publications. This was very refreshing to hear that a major magazine had decided to take the position that by using the words “anti-aging“, they were suggesting that aging is a condition that we need to fight against, rather than accept with pleasure for the gift that it is to age. For many years, when my kids were younger, I would muse about them getting older, wanting to freeze time and keep them young forever. Then I realized that it was a gift to both them and me that I got to see them grow older. That was just the attitude adjustment I needed to understand just how lucky I was. Now that I have four adult children, I marvel at just how wonderful it is to have a relationship with them that feels even-sided- I still care for and guide them, and in many ways, they very much do this now for me. This is the beauty and the gift of aging. So what good would there be to “anti-age”? I want to show signs of wisdom at this point in my life, as I feel I’ve earned it and learned it. As Kevin Aucion said- “Perfection is boring, if a face doesn’t have mistakes, it’s nothing.” I want my face to reflect the years from when it was perfectly wrinkle-free on my wedding day, to the twenty-five years, four kids, laughter, and loss face that I wear today. Allure was quite radical for a woman’s fashion magazine, and strikes a very good point- words and language matter in how we relate to each other as women who are aging. I had a friend tell me recently that she was surprised when a friend, with good intentions, told her that she was impressed by how she was able to just wear her face and its laugh lines and wrinkles so confidently at 55. And she meant this with real sincerity- it was a true compliment. But my friend was surprised that this even needed to be said- why wouldn’t she be smiling and confident in her 55-year-old image? I suppose because so many other women sharing the same space at the time this was said had had other cosmetic procedures, they appeared to look younger. Does looking younger entitle someone to exude more confidence than someone who looked older than the rest of the crowd ? Confidence is not something manufactured, it comes from within- and the age you look amongst your peers should not dictate the confidence you have within yourself. And I believe this was the intention of our mutual friend in making this comment- and perhaps a gentle desire of her own spoken aloud. The message in all of this is clear- our confidence should continue to grow as we age, that is the most authentic way to age naturally!
